Rants and Reflections...

I don't have a story or hot take today, I just want to talk so I'll title this my "Rant 101".

Sometimes, we do things we’d rather not do(not necessarily bad things) because we are tired of holding up for too long. The problem is when we do those things we turn out to be the bad persons and are only understood by people who care to understand. Another problem is the people who those things are directed to should be more mature let’s say an older person and you’ve been the mature one all along and boom! You decide to be the child that you are and turn out to be the bad person.🥲

 Personally, if I do something that’s not from anger but is out of character for me then something of what I explained above happened. Trust me the Holy Spirit convicts me right after or before that but my mind just keeps saying “Why can’t you speak to the other person? I am but a child”. 

Up to the moment I’m writing this, something similar happened and the funny thing is I did nothing and doing nothing was the problem. The after-effect of my action doesn’t feel good but I’m truly just exhausted.

I don’t like to express my anger. I’d rather just leave it, be angry for a while, and then let my nature do its forgiveness thing. Because if I do anything contrary to this, say express my anger, I’ll be seen as the bad one. And as if that’s not enough, the scenario keeps playing in my mind. Then I blame myself for not keeping my cool. Then I don’t have peace.😔 It’s a whole lot, I know. And that’s why I’ve learnt to deal with my anger better. It doesn’t matter if I wasn’t in the wrong eventually, I will lose my peace. This also applies to the acting out-of-character scenario I explained above. So there’s no winning for me, is there? 😩

 This might look like avoidance but trust me I do it for my peace and sanity. It might not necessarily work for everyone so I’m not telling you to do the same.🌚

You know I said something happened right before I started writing this. Guess what? I apologized.💀Yes, I did. No, I’m not that much of a good or humble person but the Holy Spirit is a really holy Spirit😂 and He wanted me to. 

I’ve just come to accept that it shouldn’t matter to me if the person is mature or not, or if I have been mature for too long. The Holy Spirit will work on me as He deems fit and since this is personal it doesn’t matter how He’s dealing with other people. I am his precious masterpiece and He expects more from me.

If you can relate to any part of what I said above, this is what I will tell you. When you are pushed to do something out of character, and your defence is that the other person didn't do any better, try to consciously remember not to do anything just because of the action or reaction of someone.  That's not who you are, and if that's who you are, then carpe diem! (I'm just kidding😹)

Oh well, this is where my rants end and as usual I hope that regardless of the rants you picked one or two things.❤️

See you at the next read or rant, who knows?🤷🏻‍♀️👀