Though I Fall, I Will Rise Again

About Judith, he said: Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields her all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders

 This was not what I planned as my welcome back to blogging, but I’ve been so lax in writing that I’ll take anything I can get.

 I recently posted on my WhatsApp status that one of Jesus’ hardest commandments is to “be anxious for nothing.” It logically does not make sense as humans that things are falling apart and there is a commandment to not be anxious.

I just concluded the third year of my Law degree and I had high hopes going into the third year. I prayed, pulled down mountains (very essential😂), and I was ready to conquer the world. 

The first semester came, and yes, there were little hiccups here and there, but everything was still fine. I resumed for the second semester, and I remember I wrote a blog post on tenacity unknowing to me that I’d be taking my advice(such is life, innit?). The results for the first semester started rolling in and for the most part, they weren’t what I was expecting. The amusing part was that they were a few shots away from what I was expecting, and I was in a state of limbo for a long while.

I couldn’t be angry at God because that would mean my relationship with him is, in fact, transactional (a blog post on this soon), and even with everything that was going on, I wasn’t ignorant of His faithfulness. Being angry at myself wasn’t an option either because I needed all the boost I could get for the semester that was already fast running. 

I learnt from that situation that sometimes the problem is not the problem; it’s the fact that we do not have an explanation of what caused the problem and we do not know if the problem will be a recurring one or it is just one time. As humans, we are fueled by a desire to know, but we see in part and we know in part. We can’t always have answers to these problems, and this God was aware of, and so he asks us that regardless of this, we should not be anxious.

Well, with a lot of help from the Holy Spirit and my family, I was able to get myself back up, tenacity yeah? I remember my mum said to me, “But David encouraged himself in the Lord.” I went to read 1st Samuel 30, and I saw that David and his men, when faced with a challenge, wept until they had no strength to weep, and he was greatly distressed. However, David encouraged himself in the Lord his God, and that’s what I did. I held on to the mantra “na who give up f- up”, but it wasn’t exactly appropriate if you know what I mean🌚.

When the scriptures said, “Be anxious for nothing,” it didn’t just stop there; it gave an alternative for what we should do instead: “But in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God,” and that I did. 

I found a suitable replacement for the mantra I stated earlier, Micah 7:7, “But me, I’m not giving up. I’m sticking around to see what God will do. I’m waiting for God to make things right. I’m counting on God to listen to me.” The interesting part about this is that I got a reply. Deuteronomy 33:12, “About Judith, he said: Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields her all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.”

I don’t know what the future has in stall for me; I don’t know if I will always get my desired results, but what I know is that I will always rest secure in him. 

So, yes, not being anxious may be hard but to stop doing something, you have to start doing another thing to fill up the vacuum.  Therefore while trying not to be anxious, learn to rest secure in your Creator.